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H​.​O​.​R​.​N​.​Y. (When I'm Ill)

from the five word album title by Ism f.c.

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Liner Notes: Writer's Block

H.O.R.N.Y. (When I'm Ill)

After finishing the “Big in Japan” album I had a bit of a creative lull. I was not able to craft any new songs. Normally I have no trouble generating music. Lyrics are more difficult for me though. But this time I was totally blocked. Standing in the way was this reprehensible piece. It was stuck in my head, like a metaphorical logjam, fully formed conceptually, musically, and lyrically as I wandered zombie-like, sleepwalking through life, resisting the pull of this ridiculous song. I finally relented as my subconscious could take no more. I pulled out a guitar to figure out the chords that I was hearing in my head, got an omelet at the Fairlee Diner the next morning, I mapped out the song, channeled all the lyrics that were presenting themselves to me, and wrote them on the back of the diner's paper place mat. All told it was a 20 minute effort.

It was the first song written in the “Five Word Album Title” era and once I had allowed the song to bubble up, the creative obstruction was released. I consider the previous song, which you will hear in a day or two, as the final song of the record. This is a bonus track. A “B-side” if you will. It's a stylistic and lyrical oddity.

My bandmates Maurice and Wil seemed to enjoy my sense of humor so just for fun I showed them this song. And to my surprise they loved it, probably because it is prurient and silly, and they can proudly declare that this did not emerge from the recesses of their own dark and dirty subconscious. We learned to play it and shared some chuckles and wry smiles during its playing. From a musical standpoint, it really is not very good. So with considerable shame and embarrassment I offer this up to you. Not a word of it is true. It is a work of fiction. I promise. Really, I mean it. Total fiction.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

lyrics

I'm sick and I'm tired and I'm lost in a quagmire. Can't keep a thing in I'm definitely unwell. Haven't seen you in a while. I just ralphed in the laundry pile. My teeth are unbrushed. I've discovered a new smell. Fever of 102 and three days without solid food, I cannot wait until you walk through the door. Lying in sweat, eyes glazed, I haven't showered in all of these days. I know that you know what the “H” is for.

Chorus - “H”oney please hold me. “O”h I'm thrilled to see see you but “R,” run while you can. I'll turn that “N” for “No” into a “Y” for “Yes. Ok. But please, there will be no kissing.”

It's running, my nose. So let me nibble your toes. I've a boil that needs to be lanced. It's a medical mystery. There's something off with my chemistry. Earlier I tried on your underpants. I tried to make amends for letting slip to our friends what happens when I'm sick and sore. It left us in a lurch when we had to go and find a new church. Word has spread what the “H” is for.

Chorus - “H”oney please hold me. “O”h I'm thrilled to see see you but “R,” run while you can. I'll turn that “N” for “No” into a “Y” for “Yes. Ok. But you really need to seek some counseling.”

(The Fever Swoon Bridge).

But the more my head aches and hurts the more jealous I can get of your skirt. It's right next to your body. Let's taste the forbidden fruit. We could go rent gorilla suits and make sweet monkey lovey dovey. Last night it got late but it's illegal in all fifty states. I couldn't move but still I needed more. I gotta beat this damn flu. I know that it's hard to be you when I make you so aware what the “H” is for.

Chorus - “H”oney please hold me. “O”h I'm thrilled to see see you but “R,” run while you can. I'll turn that “N” for “No” into a “Y” for “Yes. Ok. But please there will be no kissing, and you really need to seek some counseling, because you know, it's not ok, what we do.” When I'm ill.

credits

from the five word album title, released April 26, 2016

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Ism f.c. image

Ism f.c. Lyme, New Hampshire

Imagine if you will, the bastard child of The White Stripes and Parliament Funkadelic, with lyrics as quirky as a spelling bee champion. That's us, ISM f.c. The fourth album is in the works.

Under the ISM f.c. umbrella are a few side projects. "The Clearing" is a project based on lost cassette tapes from a bygone era. "Committee on Incandescent Anomalies" is a post rock project. ... more

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